Friday, October 21, 2011

The broken record has returned again in the October form of Roberto Luongo--still bad after all these Octobers. The only solution to prevent this slow Canuck start from continuing is:
Occupy Luongo
Save me from October!

By forming a tent village around his Yaletown condo Canuck fans can keep him at home where he belongs for the month of October. Being surrounded by such loyal Canuck fans will pump his tires with the love he so craves. So not only will he do the Canucks more good by staying at home in October, it'll also imprint in his brain that staying "at home" is safer than venturing outside his crease when he returns to the ice. After all there is nothing scarier than Luongo's impersonations of Patrick Roy playing the puck without the spectacular scrambling back to make the save moves Patrick was famous for.

Further to this Occupy Luongo initiative, a new internship program can be started by the University of British Columbia School of Engineering. Undergrads can gain valuable work experience by being employed to build sea walls around all NHL cities with ocean coastlines. This will give Bobby Lu the comfort to get his mind and body right for any away game with a comforting walk along these sea walls. The problem of inland cities far from the sea will be met by constructing riverwalks and lakeside walls and convincing Roberto that all water is created equal be it fresh- or seawater.

Those cities lacking in water such as ones located in deserts (Phoenix) or in counties where oranges no longer grow (Anaheim) will require significant canal building and transporting of water to fill said canals before any "seawalls" can be built. But what better way to stimulate the US economy than great big bloated government projects that with NHL cooperation gets more good PR for the league than a barrel full of Ovechkin commercials.

So let it begin. Show you're true Canuck fans and join Occupy Luongo or the Luongo Seawall Project today. You can make a difference!
V is for Victory . . . for Vancouver!