World Cup Match Previews: June 19

The Unusual Suspects

(Holland vs. Japan)

A three-time champion

There is a strong Dutch connection on the Japan squad and it's an imperial one. Scorer of the winning goal in Japan's first match and current top Japanese soccer hottie, Keisuke Honda, was known as Keizer Keisuke during his playing days in Holland with VVV Venlo. Keizer being Dutch for "emperor." No word on whether now playing for CSKA Moscow if he's in line for "czar" status.
The Dutch, though, have their own three-time champion "sexiest babe of the year" Yolanthe Cabau van Kasbergen, who is midfielder Wesley Sneijder's girlfriend.
Hopefully, this is a good omen for a beautiful match.

Centers for Disease Control

(Cameroon vs. Denmark)

African teams supposedly have an advantage as far as being acclimatized to playing on the continent. Don't tell that to Pierre Webo. Four years ago he contracted malaria on a visit to Cameroon.
On the Danish side manager Morten Olsen has come down with a fever heading into this match.

A Fez of The Church

(Ghana vs. Australia)
A match covered in milk chocolate

It's Istanbul not Constantinople! Ghana's #1 in goal is Faruk Gursoy--a naturalized Turkish citizen. Richard Kingson moved to Turkish club Galatasary in 1996 and renamed himself after the club's president Faruk Gursoy and chairman Ergun Gorsay.
Faruk's got nothing, though, on Australian forward Joshua Kennedy. Known as "Jesus" for his ability to walk on water...or maybe it's the long hair, Aussie supporters often shout, "Call your dad, Jesus!" to Josh when the team needs divine intervention.

Match Previews: June 18

Work And Play Safe
(Slovenia vs. USA)
It's a medical condition, ref!

Slovenian forward Zlatko Dedic lost the tip of his middle finger while go-karting at the start of this soccer season. The US of Eh features a goalkeeper (Tim Howard) with Tourette's syndrome.
Watch for this match to be filled with some interesting hand gestures and inappropriate swearing.

Goalkeeping The Dream Alive
(England vs. Algeria)


Glove, Glove Me Do!

Just in case the Land of Eng need inspiration in net, be assured David "Calamity" James was named the "15th" greatest player in Portsmouth history.
Robert Green (of the Hamburger Helper Mickey Mouse gloves) was the first keeper to be red carded while wearing an England shirt so he has that going for him. And at least he's consistent as seen by this clip.
Lastly, Joe Hart has spent the last three seasons on loan to three different clubs unable to crack through and take the #1 job at Manchester City who actually are paying his salary.
So, looks like you're in good hands, Ingerlund, in goal.

Over in the land of Algeria their choice in net comes down to the guy who had his suspension lifted (Faouzi Chalouchi), the guy who was suspended (Lounès Gaouaoui) or some other guy who actually has never been suspended (Raïs M'Bolhi).

So, to paraphrase, you're also in good hands with the nation state of Algeria.

Schweinsteigering The Former Yugos
(Germany vs. Serbia)

Cultural diversity is what the World Cup is all about. From the melodious sounds of the vuvuzelas to Germany's child labor laws--German keeper Manuel Neuer has been with his club team, Schalke 04, since the age of five.
Look for Serbia to try to out-Crouch the Germans with their (1/2-inch taller than England's Robot Dancer Peter Crouch) skyscraper of a striker in 6' 7 1/2" Nikola Zigic.

Can Anybody Score?

"Tor" blimey, score with the Germans!

Whether it's the vuvuzelas, the Jabulani soccer ball, the mixed natural grass/artificial turf pitches or the altitude, South Africa seems to be the World Cup Finals where goals go to die.

The last World Cup Finals got off to a similar poor start with 12 "clean sheets" among the first 16 matches. So far in 2010 there have been 11 teams held scoreless.

Only one team (thank you Germany!) has scored more than 2 goals. Only two other teams have scored at least 2 goals (South Korea and Brazil).

In '06 we had scores of 4-2, 4-0, 3-0, 3-1 and 2-2 in the first round of matches.
In '02 we had an 8-0, 3-2, 2-2 and 3-1.
In '98 we got a couple of 3-1 and 2-2 each matches.

If you're not PVRing and skipping straight to second halves of games you really are a glutton for watching paint dry.

Here's hoping Spain and Chile both come out with many barrels a blazin' to save these World Cup Finals from possibly being the worst in the modern era.